Into Whispy woods
by glnn bck
Summary: A parody of the famous musical, Into the Woods.  junior version


King Dedede came up on stage with a bored expression and started to talk.

Dedede: Once upon a time-

A spotlight turned on to show poor Galactca Knight scrubbing the floor.

Galactca: I wish…

Dedede: In a far off kingdom-

Galactca: More than anything…

Dedede: Lived a young maiden-

Galactca: More than life…

Dedede: A sad young lad-

Another spotlight turned on to show Sword Knight trying to milk his cow.

Galactca: More than jewels…

Sword: I wish…

Dedede: And a childless baker-

Yet another spotlight turns on to show (adult) Kirby and Tiff.

Sword: More than life…

Galactca and Kirby: More than the moon…

Tiff: I wish…

Galactca: The king is giving a festival.

Kirby and Tiff: More than life…

Sword: I wish…

Galactca:-I wish to go to the festival-

Kirby and Tiff: More than riches…

Galactca:-And the ball…

Sword: I wish the cow would give us some milk.

Galactca and Tiff: More than anything…

Kirby: I wish we had a child.

Tiff: I want a child.

All of them: I wish…

Lady Like comes up to Galactca Knight.

Like: You wish to go to the festival!

Dedede: The poor girl's mother had died-

Lololo (a girl for now) and lalala: You, Galactca, the festival?

Lololo, Lalala and Like: The festival! The King's festival!

Dedede:- And her father had taken to a new wife, a woman with two daughters of her own. All three were beautiful but vile and black of heart.

We see Kirby's house and there's a knock at the door. They open it and Hula (Otherwise known as Red) Came in.

Tiff: Why come in… little girl?

Hula: I wish…

It's not for me, it's for my granny in the woods. A loaf of bread, Please. To bring to my poor old and hungry granny in the woods. Just one loaf of bread, please.

Kirby gave her a loaf of bread.

Hula: Thank you!

Into the woods, it's time to go. I hate to leave I have to though. Into the woods- it's time and so, I must begin my journey.

Into the woods and through the trees to where I am expected ma'am. Into the woods to grandmother's house!

Tiff: You're certain of your way?

Hula: The way is clear. The light is good. I have no fear, nor no one should. The woods are just trees, the trees are just wood. (She grabbed a bunch of cookies) I kind of hate to ask it, but do you have a basket?

Kirby rolled his eyes and grabbed a spare basket.

Kirby: Here. (gives basket) Now, don't stray and be late.

Hula: Into the woods to bring some bread to granny who is sick in bed. I never can tell what lies ahead, for all that I know, she's already dead.

But into the woods, into the woods, into the woods to grandmother's house and home before dark.

Hula stopped and then walked out of the house.

Tiff: Be sure to save some sweets for granny!

Dedede: Sword on the other hand, had no grandmother, no father, and his mother…

Garlude came in.

Garlude: I wish…

Dedede: Well… she wasn't so beautiful…

Garlude: I wish my son was not a fool. I wish my house was not a mess. I wish the cow was full of milk. I wish the walls were full of gold. I wish a lot of things…

Listen well, son. Milky white must be taken to market.

Sword: But mother, no- he's the best cow-

Garlude: It's a she and she's given us no milk for a week. We've no food nor money. We have to sell her.

Sword: But Milky White's my best friend in the whole world!

Garlude: Look at her.

There are bugs on her dugs. There are flies in her eyes. There's a lump on her rump, big enough to be a hump- and no one keeps a cow for a friend!

Fetch the best price you can. Take no less than five pounds. Are you listening?

Sword: Yes. No more than five pounds.

Garlude: Less than five… Now, go!

Sword leads Milky White out.

Dedede: Because Kirby had lost his mother and father in a baking accident- well, at least that's what he believed- he was eager to have a family of his own, he was concerned that all efforts until now had failed.

His door knocked.

Tiff: Who might that be?

Kirby: It's the witch from next door!

The gypsy women from the Kirby show came in.

Dedede: The old enchantress told the couple that she had placed a spell on their house.

Kirby: What spell?

Gypsy: In the past when your mother was with child. She developed an unusual appetite. She took one look at my beautiful garden and told your father what she wanted more than anything in the world…

Greens, greens, nothing but greens: Parsley, peppers, cabbages, and cel'ry. Asparagus and watercress and fiddleferns and lettuce-

He said "All right" but it wasn't quite, 'cause I caught him in the autumn in my garden one night! He was robbing me, harassing me! Rooting through my rutabaga, raiding my arugula and ripping up my rampion, my champion! My favorite! I should have laid a spell on him!

Right there I could have turned him into a stone, or a dog or a chair…

But I let him have the rampion, I had lots to spare. In return, however, I said fair is fair: You can let me have the baby that your wife will bear.

Then we'll call it square.

Kirby: I had a brother?

Gypsy: No! But you had a si~ster!

Dedede: But the witch refused to tell him any more of his sister. Not even that her name was Sirica.

Gypsy: I thought I had been more than reasonable. But how was I to know what was hidden in your father's pocket?

Kirby: What?

Gypsy: Beans.

Kirby and Tiff: Beans!

Gypsy: The special beans!

I let him go, I didn't know he had stolen my beans! I was watching him crawl back over the wall-

And then BANG! CRASH! And the lightning flashed! And- well that's another story, never mind- anyway, at last the big day came and I made my claim. "Oh, don't take away the baby!" They screamed and screeched, but I did, and I hid her where she'll never be reached.

Your father cried, your mother died, when for extra measure- I admit it was a pleasure- I said, "Sorry, I'm still not mollified"

And I laid a spell on them-

You too son!

That your family tree would be a barren one! So there's no more fuss and there's no more scenes and my garden thrives- you should see my nectarines!

But I'm telling you the same I tell kings and queens: Don't ever never ever mess around with my greens! Especially the beans!

Dedede: Then the witch, for her own purposes, explained how Kirby might lift the curse:

Gypsy: You wish to have the curse reversed? I'll need a certain potion first.

Go to the wood and bring me back, One: The cow as white as milk, Two: The cape as red as blood, Three: The hair as thick as a brush, Four: The boot as pure as gold.

Bring me these at midnight in three days, and you shall have, I guarantee, a child as perfect as children can be.

Go to the wood!

Now, the scene shows Galactca and her family.

Like: Ladies! Our carriage awaits.

Galactca: Please, may I go to the festival?

Like: The festival!-

You'd make us the fools of the festival and mortify the prince!

Sir Ebrum: The carriage is waiting…

Like: We must be off.

Galactca: Good night father.

Sir Ebrum grunted dazedly and left.

Galactca: I wish…

Galactca couldn't control herself and started to cry.

We now return to Kirby and Tiff who are looking at an old hunting jacket.

Kirby: Look at what I found in father's hunting jacket!

Tiff: Six beans.

Kirby: I wonder if they are…

Tiff: The witch's beans! We'll take them with us.

Kirby: No! You aren't coming and that's final. Now, what am I to return with?

Tiff: You don't remember?

The cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as thick as a brush, the boot as pure as gold.

Kirby repeated the words, memorizing them.

Dedede: And so Kirby left, reluctantly, off to meet the enchantress's demands. As for Galactca:

Galactca: I wish to go to the festival. How am I ever going to get to the festival? I know!

I'll visit mother's grave, the grave at the hazel tree. I'll tell her I just want to go to the king's festival…

Suddenly everyone came onto the scene, all knew what they were to do.

Kirby, Tiff, Galactca, Sword and Garlude: Into the woods without regret. The choice is made. The task is set. Into the woods but not forgetting why I'm on the journey.

Into the woods to get my wish. I don't care how, the time is now!

Garlude: Into the woods to sell the cow-

Sword: Into the woods to get the money-

Tiff: Into to the woods to lift the spell-

Kirby: To make the potion-

Galactca: To go to the festival-

Hula: Into the woods to grandmother's house… Into the woods to grandmother's house…

All: The way is clear, the light is good, I have no fear, nor no one should. The woods are just trees, the trees are just wood. No need to be afraid there-

Kirby and Galactca: There's something in the glade there…

All: Into the woods to get the thing, that makes worth the journeying. Into the woods-

Lololo, Lalala and Like: To see the king-

Sword and Garlude: To sell the cow-

Kirby and Tiff: To make the potion-

All: To see, to sell, to get, to bring, to make, to lift, to go to the festival.

Into the woods! Into the woods! Into the woods, then out of the woods! And home before dark!

Now we see Galactca kneeling at her mother's grave. It's dark and you start to get an eerie feeling.

Dedede: Galactca had planted a branch at the grave of her mother and she visited there so often and cried so much that the branch grew into a handsome tree.

Galactca: I wish…

A voice emits from the tree that sounds like her mother.

Mother: What child? Specify. Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor.

Galactca: I wish…

Mother: Do you know what you wish? Are you certain what you wish is what you want? Ask the tree and you shall have your wish.

Galactca: Shiver and quiver, little tree, silver and gold throw down on me.

A shining silver mask appears and a pair of gold boots, then they fell.

Galactca: I'm off to get my wish!

She then flew off, wearing her boots and mask. Now, we see Sword guiding Milky white through the forest.

Sword: Silence everywhere, Milky White. Not to my liking.

?: Hello, there sword.

Sword: How do you know my name!

?: How much are you asking for that animal?

Sword: No less than five pounds, sir.

?: Why, you'd be lucky to sell that cow for a sack of baens.

Before Sword could react the mysterious man left.

Sword: Come on Milky, they're spirits here.

Now are looking at Hula who is happily skipping. Wolf wrath pops out and surprises her.

Wolf: Why, hello young lady.

Hula: Hello Mr. Wolf.

Hula then started to skip again but Wolf Wrath cut her off.

Wolf: Where are you going?

Hula: To my grandmother's.

She tries to skip again but Wolf Wrath stops her.

Wolf: What might be in your basket?

Hula: Bread and wine so that grandmother will have something good to make her strong.

Wolf: And where might your grandmother live?

Hula: Further in the woods; her house stands under three large oak trees.

Hula started to skip again. Wolf Wrath got frustrated but kept his cool. He then stopped her.

Wolf: Hello little girl. What's your rush? You're missing all the flowers. The sun won't set for hours so take your time-

Hula: Mother said: "Straight ahead" Not to delay or be misled.

Wolf: But slow, little girl. Hark! And hush… The birds are singing sweetly. You'll miss the birds completely. You're traveling so fleetly.

Hula: Mother said not to stray, still I suppose a small delay- Granny might like a fresh bouquet. Good bye Mr. Wolf!

Wolf: Goodbye, little girl and Hello…

He let out one last howl and walked off. Kirby then appeared with a worried face.

Kirby: Is harm to come to that little girl? In the red cape?

The witch then came out.

Gypsy: Forget the girl and get the cape! That's the cape. Get it!

Kirby: How am I supposed to get it?

Gypsy: You go up to the little thing and you take it!

?: Laaa la laaa…

Gypsy: Ahh… My Sirica… Listen to her beautiful music…

GET ME WHAT I NEED!

The witch then left Kirby alone.

Kirby: I'll never get that red cape, or find a golden cow or a yellow boot. Wait- was it a gold boot and a yellow cow? Oh no…

Tiff: The cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as thick as a brush, the boot as pure as-

Kirby: What are you doing here?

Tiff: You forgot your scarf-

Kirby: You have no business, being in the woods alone! Go home immediately!

Tiff: I wanna heeeeeeeeelp!

Kirby: No! The spell is on my h-

Sword then came up, dragging Milky White.

Tiff: The cow as white as…

Kirby and Tiff: Milk….

Kirby: Hello there young man!

Sword looked at him with wide eyes, scared.

Sword: Hello sir.

Kirby: What are you doing with a cow, in the middle of the forest?

Sword: I was heading to market- but I lost my way…

Kirby: And what are you planning to do there?

Sword: Sell my cow, sir. No less than five pounds.

Kirby: Five pounds!

Tiff: If you can't fetch that sum, then what are you going to do?

Sword: I suppose my mother and I will have no food to eat.

Kirby searched in his pocket but all he had was a couple of coins and the beans.

Tiff: Beans- oh we mustn't give up our beans! Well, if you insist…

Kirby: Wut?

Tiff: It will bring you food, mister… umm…

Sword: Sword.

Tiff: Sword!

Sword: Beans in exchange for my cow?

Tiff: Oh, theses are no ordinary beans, son. These beans carry magic.

Sword: Magic? What kind of magic?

Tiff: Tell him.

Kirby: uh, magic that defies description.

(?: You'd be lucky to exchange her for a sack of beans.)

Sword: How many beans?

Kirby: Six.

Tiff: Five! We can't part with all of them. We must keep one for ourselves. Besides, I'd say they're worth a pound for each, at the very least.

Sword: Can I buy her back someday?

Kirby: Well, possibly…

Kirby then gave Sword the beans.

Kirby: Good luck out there young lad.

Sword: I guess this is good bye, old pal. You've been a perfect friend. I hate to see us part, old pal. Someday I'll buy you back. I'll see you soon again. I hope that when I do, it won't be on a plate.

Sword then left with tears in his eyes. Kirby saw his sadness and got mad.

Kirby: Take the cow and go home!

Tiff: I was trying to be helpful…

Kirby: Magic beans! Are we going to dispel the curse through deceit?

TBC…


End file.
